Encouraging Responsibility

I have noticed a chief complaint among parents and it is that their kiddos do not take responsibility. Whether your child is 2 or 22 a great way to encourage responsibility is to assign age-appropriate chores.

Chores?!

"I can't even make my kid get out of bed! How are chores going to help me?!"

OK, if this is your response then in the next posting we will talk about the need for consistency and enforcing your rules. Until then keep reading.

Chores can help your child to develop in many ways. A child who becomes a contributing member of a family has taken the first step to becoming a caring member of the community. As a child carries out tasks, he or she builds the competence and confidence necessary for self-esteem. And, as traditional roles change, learning household skills are important for everyone.

"Traditional roles changing, phooey. My son is going to be a man and not do women's work."

OK, fine. Even so before your son gets married to a woman, he will need to take care of himself.

"My daughter is a woman of the revolution and we do not belong in the kitchen but in the corporate office."

I do not care who you are we are all susceptible to basic needs. God instilled them and Maslow defined them. The point is, we have them and they need to be filled.

So, teach your child chores no matter what the label and think of it as survival skills.

Here are some ways to encourage your child to pitch in:

• Give your child chores that are real.

Your child needs to see his or her "work" is of value to your family.

• Give your child chores he or she can accomplish.

Have your child work alongside you as you garden, fold the laundry, sort the silverware, or put away toys.

• Accept less than perfect results.

Participation and practice are the goals at a young age.

Here are some chores many young children can help to do:

• water plants
• take items to sink
• match socks
• fold own clothes fresh from dryer
• fix a snack
• dry plastic dishes
• dust low furniture
• pick up belongings
• set table
• wipe up spills
• feed the pets

In the beginning it may be a rough change for you and your family, especially if you are dealing with an older child. Remember, that consistency is the key. Keep enforcing that it needs to be done. In the classroom we teach teachers a trick that I believe is helpful for anyone and that is that when you find yourself wanting to yell force yourself to whisper until you have control over your emotion. The listener will be quieting down and strain to hear you.

Keep it Fun!